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We need more Indians
By Holly | November 15, 2008
The Girl is in 5th grade. I, in part, chose the school I did because there is a family involvement requirement. Great, right? Parental and family involvement only helps the children, right? I had no idea just how complicated things could become. Over the years I have quit volunteering in areas that require group work and I thought I was in the clear with this being our last year at the school. I’d made it. I was involved but invisible to those committee and group think people - even when I was a committee chairperson. Just to clarify, I am not a woman who identifies herself as “mommy”. I don’t even identify as a “mom”. I am so many things that just boiling myself down to what my uterus can produce seems very limiting. I also have very few friends with children. I have never seen the appeal in talking about what my kid’s poops look like, when my child started walking, how long I breast fed, how her physical development is going - seriously, is it anyones business if she has gotten her period yet except hers? - so I never sought out other mothers to befriend. Really, if I am going to be honest here, The Girl came as a shock surprise. Sometime during the whole “holy shit I’m pregnant” swirl I decided I was going to do this thing. I was 27. I had a house and a job and I could do this. I think having it sprung on me like that was the only way I was going to have a child. If left to my own devices I wouldn’t have done it at all because I am not a kid person. I don’t really like them and I really don’t care for the typical parent. So the parent friends I do have are similar to me in that they are living less than conventional lifestyles and have lives outside of their children. They are mostly older than me, too. Maybe that’s the difference? Onto the reasons Holly has backed off and tried to go invisible…
So I’ve got this friend that also has kids at the school. She was going to be taking on this project and asked if I would represent for our class to help her out. She needed an ally. Okay, so I agree. We go to the first meeting and hash some things out and develop “A Plan”. Over the next week we find out that people involved in the original decision had been talking and wanted to the “The Plan”. Okay. Then they said they wanted to put the whole thing on hold for a while. Okay. Now the whole thing has started up again, out of the blue, and the same people who said certain things are totally doing the opposite of what they said they wanted to do. Okay. Can you see the crazy here or is it just me?
Example dos: One of the attached neighborhoods was having their yearly festival which involves a parade. We typically go check this festival out but aren’t involved in the parade at all. One day one of the other parents asked if I would be willing to drive my car in the parade - they were going to be walking to represent the school and my car is blue and convertible and The Girl could throw candy out of it. I say “yeah, I could probably do that” he says he’s not involved with the planning but he’ll send me the email about it. Great. I’m thinking we get together one weekend and make a banner, pool some cash and buy some candy and then put the word out that our school is doing this parade and that everyone who wants to walk should show up at this time on parade day, at this place, in the school colors and we’ll do this thing. Simple, no? No. These people are trying to decide how to determine which kids should carry the banner - the banner that hasn’t been made yet to my knowledge. Should we have a crazy hat contest? Should we this? Should we that? They should we’d themselves right out of the parade! They could never decide and ran out of time. And no, I did not get involved. Just like I don’t go stand in the middle of the bee swarm I don’t wade into discussions I wasn’t a part of from the start.
So the latest…the reading group The Girl is involved in in her class is about out of books. We don’t have books at the school that are of their reading level. I get an email from another parent about this suggesting that maybe we could get them from the local library. I say sure, but that I would also be willing to purchase the books they decide to read and then donate them to the school for future use. She says that’s great and that she too would be willing to go the purchase route and we’ll just throw it out there. Mind you, there are only four kids in this group so it’s just a handful of parents involved. Small should be manageable, right? Wrong. The latest email is the kicker. Now she wants to know if maybe we should let a certain student “spearhead” creating a new book club format in partnership with the library system to leave behind as a legacy. Why can’t it be simple? Why? Why does everything have to be so complicated? How do I attempt to bring these people back to earth without being a total asshole? The worst part is I didn’t even see this one coming, but I really should have considering the players. This is exactly why I keep my distance. These people are crazy! Everything, everything, gets turned into a huge deal. We would be able to get so much more done if people would use their heads and not go global. But no. That can’t happen. Maybe they don’t feel like they are really getting things done unless it’s complicated? Is it power or sheer, unadulterated madness? Or maybe I am mad? That’s a possibility but I am not so sure it applies to me in these situations. Do y’all deal with this sort of lunacy too or is it just this group of people? Is it horrible that I just want to be done with all of this?
Topics: Fucktards |
Not a parent, so I don’t deal w/ the school/parental thing, but I used to head a not-for-profit, so that meant lots of committees. I said USED TO HEAD for a reason. Committee stuff (official or otherwise) nearly drove me crazy. Good luck with these challenges!
Posted by: Angela on November 16th, 2008 at 9:16 pmIt was like this in my neighborhood group, too. I had to drop out because it was making my stomach hurt.
Posted by: Celia on November 16th, 2008 at 11:57 pm