That would be the mummified remains of a squirrel that I found in the backyard this evening.  I went out to give the compost a spin and noticed the dogs huddled around something only to discover “the dead thing”.  The Fat Beagle was about to give it a lick, another reason I am thankful that dog doesn’t lick faces or hands or anything else besides his phantom balls and his ass – oh and now dead stuff.  That dog will give anything a taste.  Dude, that squirrel is dried out and not De-Con dry but dead lying in the hot Atlanta sun dry.  I don’t know if it dropped from a tree – there was a big ruckus in the limbs overhead earlier and something dropped, or if the poor schmoes doing clean up on the shitbox rental threw it over the fence.  You know which thing I really suspect so I don’t have to say it out loud.  Okay, I’ll say it out loud:  I think those fuckers threw it over the fence!  RUDE!

p.s.  I still haven’t packed anything but I have a plan.  Probably not a solid plan but a plan just the same.

I’ve been in the yard as much as possible and seen all sorts of delicious things.  Remember how we had a vole run through the living room and something trying to get us in the attic?  We threw traps and poison from stem to stern and have heard nothing else.  Not a peep.  That is until I was cleaning out some leaves from the Spanish Lavender when the Ghost of Christmas Past rose up and almost gave me a heart attack.  Befuckinghold:

That is NASTY!  Of course, I left it out on the walk as a warning to anything else that may be thinking of invading my home.  We have rules:  you stay outside and I leave you alone – well, I still may shoot you with fox pee, but I don’t kill you.  You come inside and you’re mine.  While visual aid was laying there and I was knitting on a sock, some fucker from the neighborhood association came up on my porch, with his DOG, and interrupted a serious dilemma to tell me they were celebrating the park’s 125th anniversary and I should be there.  When he only got “okay” and the stink eye for his dog he huffed off with a “sorry” like he’s 10 years old, which is really an insult to my 10 year old who doesn’t act like that.  She also knows better than to take her dogs up onto some stranger’s porch.  Fuckhead.  And no, I didn’t go to the park thing as it involved all sorts of public prayers by the local churches.  I don’t like any persons religion up in my face, thankyouveryfuckingmuch.

Now, it was either that day or a day close to it that we celebrated Mutha Fucka Day!  I know I won’t ever get Mother of the Year so we just get down to the real deal around here.  I am an asshole and I am a bitch to live with.  I know this and they know this but they love me anyway.  And, truth be told, I am a pretty good mutha even if I am a bit lot unorthodox in my methods.  The Girl made breakfast for me and she and Mr. gave me some new Chuckie T.’s, in blue and in natural, since I’ve been wearing mine since forever and they are jacked up.  Then we ran out to Mom’s for dinner.  One of the best parts was that I received a card from Celia wishing my Happy Mother Fucker’s Day!  I was so surprised yet so thrilled that she remembered!  She really is a sweetheart.  I do hope her day was as good as mine.

On the topic of gardening I’ve got this weird plant growing.  I put it in last year and really like it, but can’t for the life of me remember what the hell it is.  If anyone has a clue please send it my way.  This is the base:

and it has this super duper long assed flower:

What is it?  I do have normal things, like this lily:

We’ve finally gotten the rest of the annuals in and the veg garden is going gangbusters.  I should have rutabega in a week or two, along with tomatoes and cukes.  Those two are going to take over if I don’t watch it.  I’ve also already had banana peppers come in and I am now waiting on the habaneros and bell peppers.  Oh, and I’ve got some strawberries and rhubarb and asparagus.  Seriously?  I am turning into FarmerfuckingTed.

What else?  Oh yeah, the wildlife tried to get us at work too.

That’s a black rat snake and that is my front door at work.  It’s all crinkled up because a mockingbird had just pecked it.  That’s balls considering that snake eats birds  Now I gotta get rid of it before my leadperson at work gets wind that there is a snake about.  He won’t come into work if he knows it’s there and I need him to be there.

This past weekend we all rode out bikes over to Lenny’s for Mondo Homo 2008.  What.a.total.blast!  Bands, booze and great people.  Shitty Candy was a total hit.  I love women that can throw it down.

and the marching band at the end got The Girl going:

And there you have it:  the update from the ATL.  Knitting content on the flip, dig?

I used Cat Bordhi’s Riverbed Architecture and followed her Rushing Rivulet chart for the pattern.  Simple four stitch repeat.  The only thinking I had to do was to remember to increase my pattern on each side as I increased along the sole of the foot.  Otherwise the pattern was going to run up a strip on the top of the foot, which I didn’t care for.

I’ve already started ripping back the cuffs on the Inside Out socks, too.  They were the first shipment of the 2007 Rockin’ Sock Club.  With all the cabling and The Girl’s high instep the cuff just became too tight for her to get on as her foot grew even the littlest bit.  I think I may just knit them up in k2 p1 ribbing and call it a day.  I love the colors in the yarn and it will stand on it’s own nicely without patterning.

Speaking of RSC…I did join again for 2008 and received my first shipment.  Not my colors at all and I typically love orange.  Just not burnt oranges/rusts.  I’ve got a couple of takers though – both Moms and Mr. like the colors but I think the pattern will probably do better for Moms.  As liberal as I am I can’t see Mr. in lace socks.  I’ve got some other hanks of yarn in bright colors that he’ll like so I’ll have to get on the socks for him.  At least my speed has picked up so a pair doesn’t take forever anymore.  Anyway, I’ll throw the orange RSC into the stash and knit it up when the mood strikes.

God, I feel like I haven’t left the house in days which I guess I haven’t.  I went to see the doctor yesterday for my physical and then home again.  Today I ran out and voted and then home again.  That took all of 10 minutes round trip which was awesome.  I hate standing around waiting.  The Girl was like “that’s it?”  She’s used to those big state ballots when you have to vote for everyone and his brother.  The two clicks and it’s done – we’ve got a 1% sales tax increase up for grabs – was little disconcerting I guess.  Sunday I stayed in and Saturday I only left to hook up for dinner with everyone.  I even skipped the Yacht Club afterwards which just shows I was deathly ill.  I never pass up beers and laughs.  So all told, I guess I haven’t really been out out since last week.  No wonder I feel so humorless and flat.  Tomorrow though, tomorrow I get my hairs did which always makes me feel better.  Gotta get my sparkles covered and hear about Joey’s trip and maybe run around the corner to Knitch and see if they got any Louet  Gems in yet.  Maybe.  Maybe if they aren’t too covered in crazy women buying huge hanks of boucle mohair and 35mm straights and worrying about droppings stitches on the plane while they knit up a scarf.  The man she was with actually said I, I, should have helped her.  As if.  Holly can’t and won’t help crazy.  There aren’t enough hours in the day.

I am using the Riverbed Architecture out of New Pathways for Sock Knitters: Book One by Cat Bordhi. The yarn is Pagewood Farm merino/bamboo/nylon in the Sorbet colorway. I’ve got a few hanks of bamboo blend sock yarn in the stash but this is the first I’ve knit with. And that’s only because it was already wound and I was not feeling the get out the noste and wind a different hank of yarn love when I started these. Besides, they are for The Girl and she likes the color so it was a win-win. Especially since I can’t seem to wrest the last pair I made for her off her feet. Those I did with another pattern from the same book. That book is awesome, by the way, but also a little awkward in it’s setup. I didn’t knit any of the baby socks to learn the architectures but jumped in by measuring The Girl’s foot and using the Foxglove Master Pattern. Those socks, the ones she won’t surrender, fit perfectly. Perfectly. So I just moved on to the next master pattern I wanted to use only having to tweak my original numbers to work with my new gauge. Simple. I like simple because I am generally lazy and really like cutting to the chase. Which is why I didn’t so the baby socks and why, generally speaking, I am rather impatient.

Now it’s back to my sock. I’ve got to save my energy ‘cos there are pints calling later on at The Yacht Club. Beer always makes things better.